New York earthquake? As you may have experienced or heard on Twitter, an earthquake in New Jersey rattled New York City and the surrounding area. My cats were very upset, as was I, because I have a crushing anxiety disorder and thought I was about to die in a nuclear explosion. But we have survived, and now I and the aforementioned disorder must query this: Is this the End Times? As Intelligencer’s official Rapture correspondent, I have to admit I’m concerned. We had floods earlier this week. A solar eclipse is imminent, as is a plague of locusts. Eric Adams is the mayor. It’s all very troubling! A 4.8 magnitude earthquake rocked the Northeast Friday morning, in what New York Gov. Kathy Hochul called “one of the largest earthquakes on the East Coast in the last century.” The earthquake was centered near Whitehouse Station, New Jersey, and shook buildings from Philadelphia to New Jersey and New York City to Connecticut and Westchester, New York. It could be felt as far south as Washington, D.C., and as far north as Maine, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Several weaker aftershocks were also reported in the hours following the initial quake, including one measuring 4.0 magnitude centered near Gladstone, New Jersey, Friday evening, according to preliminary data from the USGS. “I felt like there was a roller coaster under my house going 1,000 miles an hour,” Carol Nicolaidis of Brooklyn, New York, told ABC News. “I first thought pipes were exploding under my house.” “I was sitting in my living room and I saw the walls shaking; it felt like a wave,” she said. “It felt like a subway train running under the couch,” said Rocco Pietropola, who was in an eighth-floor Manhattan apartment. This was the strongest quake in the greater New York City metro area since 1884, according to the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory of Columbia University. Con Edison said there are no reports of outages, and the MTA said there was no service disruption to New York City’s subway system. In New Jersey, only “limited damage” has been reported, New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy said. President Joe Biden was briefed on the earthquake and spoke with Murphy. “I spoke to the governor,” Biden told reporters. “He thinks everything’s under control, not too concerned. … So, things are alright.” New York City schools stayed open as normal, according to the city’s Department of Education press secretary, Nathaniel Styer. “At this time, there is no indication that our buildings were compromised, and our facilities staff are quickly and thoroughly inspecting buildings to ensure safety. The safest place for our kids right now is in our schools,” Styer said. Simone P. Bourgeois, Director, points to the earthquake shock registered by the seismograph at t. Peter Pereira/The Standard-Times via USA Today Network At Rye Country Day School in Rye, New York, “The students thought it was the coolest thing ever,” said Gail Sestito, dean of Grades 7 and 8 and a middle school science instructor. “Many said they saw the lights shaking a little and the smart board vibrate. But mostly we heard it — sounded like students running down the hall,” she said. “As science teachers, we were excited to dive into the details we could find,” she said. “Our seventh grade is currently teaching geology, so it’s a perfect real-life connection.” The quake could be felt throughout New York, “Obviously safety of the students was most important, so we evacuated using our fire drill procedures to account for all students,” Sestito said. “While we waited for clearance to return to class, we talked to them — casually — about the rarity of this, and the upcoming eclipse, too.” “Earthquakes along the Atlantic Seaboard are uncommon but not unheard of,” according to the USGS. “M4.8 is not large enough to cause damage, apart from light effects in the immediate epicentral region. It is large enough to be strongly felt, especially in the east, where earthquake shaking travels through the crust more efficiently than it does out west.” Damaging Earthquakes Felt in New Jersey Dep. of Environmental Protection, Land Use Management, NJ Geological Survey John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City, Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey and Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport were all placed on ground stops so runways could be inspected for damage. The airports have since resumed operations. Baltimore and Washington, D.C., officials said the earthquake has had no impact to the D.C. region. What are aftershocks? Several aftershocks were reported following Friday morning’s initial quake, the strongest being a 4.0 magnitude that rattled the New York City region Friday evening. “At this point we have no major damage reports coming in,” New York City Emergency Management said on social media. Hochul also said there are no reports of significant damage at this time following the 4.0 magnitude aftershock. And so I return to the Scriptures for guidance, as if the earth shook the atheism right out of me. The Book of Revelation mentions earthquakes quite a lot. For example, in chapter eight: “And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire of the altar, and cast it into the earth: and there were voices, and thunderings, and lightnings, and an earthquake.” And later, in chapter 16: “And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.”Some of us might be tempted to call this a great quake, depending on what we were doing when it happened. The combination of earthquake and eclipse really is something, I have to admit. Interesting fact: The eclipse will be visible in Rochester, New York, the heart of the old burned-over district — named as such for the religious movements that once originated there with great frequency. My in-laws live nearby … perhaps it’s time for me to start a new religious movement, as I have threatened to do since my graduation from a glorified Bible college. The Buffalo Bills will undoubtedly play a central role. In truth, I am qualified for little else. Writer or cult leader: Those were my options. Aftershocks are smaller earthquakes that strike the same overall area in the days, weeks, months or years after the larger “mainshock” earthquake, according to the USGS. In the wake of Friday morning’s quake, there was a 46% chance of an aftershock over a 3.0 magnitude within the next week, according to the USGS. “If you feel an aftershock, drop to the floor, cover your head and neck, and take cover under a solid piece of furniture, next to an interior wall, or in a doorway,” New York City Mayor Eric Adams said in a statement. I chose the far less lucrative profession, though, and so I must be honest with you. I’m not sure our 4.8-magnitude tremor meets the standards set by Revelation. Not to downplay everyone’s feelings, of course. We all need something to talk about. We are all desperate for a distraction from work. But I did not hear any voices, and we all seem to be alive, so I think that divine judgment might not be upon us. Yet. Look, if you grew up the way I did (isolated and Evangelical in the American South), then you know from countless pastors that the End Times has been on the way since Christ returned to heaven. Maybe Friday’s earthquake changes little. Maybe it’s just a little nudge from God — to read your dang Bible, or text your ex, or whatever. God! He’s such a diva. Not that I believe any of that, of course. The earthquake is over, and I’m an atheist again. For now. Let’s see how those locusts shape up.